Hello Readers. In my last post I reflected on 2024. One thing I neglected to mention was that I was baptized for the first time. I’ve been a Christian since 1993, but I never was baptized. There’s no rhyme or reason, I just never did. I did think about baptism. I guess it was more about what I wanted when I was baptized. First, I wanted my family there. Second, I wanted it to mean something, not just something to check off a list. Third, I wanted the person who baptized me to be special to me. In other words, to me baptism is sacred, special, and holy. It’s not to be taken lightly.

I don’t know if it was as I was coming up out of the water or a few minutes later, but I heard/thought “I am transformed.” I caught myself saying those words aloud over and over for weeks. In my last post I said my word for 2024 was “deeper.” I believe the day I was baptized, God gave me the word “transformed” for 2025. I may do a post on the word “transformed” in a future post. I am doing a word study on it and will probably share what the Lord reveals to me.

Transformation is the perfect description of what is stirring in me. I have come to realize that in order to have close relationships, I have to deal with the secrets, pain, and trauma I’ve kept locked up all of my adult life. If I had dealt with these wounds when I was younger, when the pain was still fresh, I would not have to deal with it now. I didn’t know how much it would hold me back. I didn’t know what I was missing out on. Now, I have to go back to the places that hurt me. It’s like a broken bone that didn’t set right because it went untreated. Now, that broken bone is hindering life. The only option is to re-break it and set it right, in order for it to finally heal.

T.D. Jakes gave a message on “trusting the process,” at Joyce Meyer’s women’s conference in 2023. The process has four steps: the tragedy, the trauma, the triggers, and the triumph. The tragedy is what happened, the life event that hurt you. The trauma is why you behave or react a certain way to things. The triggers are those things that cause you to act or react to life. Have you ever thought, “it didn’t used to be this way,” or “this is not who I am.” Once you face the tragedy, address the trauma, and deal with the triggers, then you can finally reach the final step – triumph. Once you become triumphant, you will experience freedom.

So, in 2025, I’m going to get to the root of my trust issues, Forgive What I Can’t Forget (book by Lysa Terkeurst), and learn how to Love People Who Are Hard to Love (Joyce Meyer). Then I’m going to find and surround myself with people who understand that, like them, I’ve experienced tragedy. I have trauma scars and triggers that cause me to not be myself sometimes. They will know that I have come a long way from where I was. They will keep pushing me to be triumphant. My people will accept me as I am, but they will encourage me to keep moving forward, to keep growing into the life God has for me. And I will in return do all these things for them.

Last year I learned there’s a difference between setting goals and having God’s goals. Most of the time we can achieve, or meet, our goals in our own strength. God’s goals are goals you cannot achieve without His help. My God goals for 2025 are:

1. Use this blog, social media, and online groups to encourage others; to connect with people all over the world; and to share His Word.
2. Tell my story through my writing and personal testimony
3. Become an advocate by educating others about the unmet needs of people with physical challenges; taking care of yourself physically, mentally, and spiritually; and other causes and issues that the Lord lays on my heart.

Since this blog is titled Little Country Librarian. I will be posting about living life in the country. I will be sharing about the books I am reading. I already have some good ones to share. Finally, a warning. I can’t promise there won’t be any editorials or opinions posted. I do promise to try to remember that I am transformed, refrain from unchristian-like behavior, and state the facts with love. Maybe I should add that last one to my God goals.

Well, that’s all I have for today. In a couple weeks I will share what I read this month.

Until another day,

AC